I’ve been a bad Rhube. I arranged the slumber party so I could focus on my thesis, but I was ill all the time and really tired even when I wasn’t ill and I didn’t get a lot done and I didn’t even chase people so there weren’t that many slumber party posts – which is totally on me and not the awesome people I asked. And I didnt really know why I was being so crap except that I was ill and I didn’t really know if I was being lazy because I’m basically never ill and certainly not in the ‘just so fucking TIRED all the time’ ill I’ve had since… well, before Christmas, anyway – the point is that I didn’t have a benchmark, and whilst I knew I’ve never feigned illness to be lazy before I’ve also been pretty depressed, so when other people treated me like I was just being lazy it was easy to believe that if I were a better person I’d be able to Get Shit Done. And depression stops you from doing shit, too, so I thought maybe it was that, and maybe I was good for nothing just because I’m depressed… yeah, this is the shit that goes on in my head that you probably didn’t need to hear about.
Anyway. ‘Cause I’m on max dosage for the anti-Ds at the moment I’m seeing my doctor fairly regular, so last time I saw him I was like ‘I’m kinda worried about how I seem to be ill ALL THE TIME these days, given how I’m usually never ill – like some years I don’t even get a sore throat – and I don’t want to be a hypochondriac BUT…’ and because he’s a doctor he did treat me a bit like a hypochondriac, but he also sent me to get a blood test. And on Friday I rang the surgery for my results and the receptionist was all ‘Oh yes, it looks as though your iron levels are quite significantly low, you have a prescription are you going to come pick up your prescription right now?’ And I was all ‘Uh, sure, I’ll pop by’ and she was all ‘OK then, I’ll be here until 6pm so you just make sure you stop by, OK?’
So I was all, like, crap, I guess I’m going to have to get dressed and out of bed, then, and I don’t even know if I have the energy to go make some more tea, and I already bought some iron tablets in case it was that, but alright, I promised the nice lady and now she’s going to expect me. So I hauled myself out of bed and got my prescription and had a good LOL at myself because, yeah, I guess I must be quite low on iron. The prescription was for TWICE the amount I had in the summer. When I got home I checked the amount on the tablets I got from Waitrose and LOL’d some more because, like, my prescription was for about six times what the ones I bought recommended for a day.
So I guess the good thing is that I’m not just being a lazy fuck. But the bad thing is that I’m behind on, like EVERYTHING – like EVERYTHING. So whilst I’m pretty sure I’ll start feeling better soon, I dunno if updating here regularly is on the cards. I hope so. Let me tell you, I watched a LOT of DVDs whilst I was lying in bed barely able to keep my eyes open after sleeping for 12 hours and so such, and I kinda think that when I’m not ill I do actually have the energy to do at least three quarters of the things I usually try and cram into my life. So maybe. But probably not just yet.